Lies We Tell Ourselves + 5 Times You Should Absolutely Be Honest with Yourself 

We can be dishonest with ourselves in many ways, such as not facing reality, not trusting our instincts, staying in unhealthy relationships, denying our feelings, and believing our negative self-talk. To find our happiness, we should be honest with ourselves and challenge our negative thoughts.

We have all been told that honesty is the best policy.  Though it can be difficult to take a step back and look honestly at yourself and your life, doing so can lead to true happiness and fulfillment. Here, we will explore the ways we lie to ourselves and the times when it’s essential to be honest with yourself so that you can better understand yourself and your place in the world. 

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Common Ways We Lie To Ourselves & Lack Self Honesty

Many of us like to believe that we live an honest life, but the truth is that we may be dishonest with ourselves more often than not. Lies manifest themselves through our thoughts and emotions or in what we do or say – they can happen anywhere. These are some examples of how it happens:

Not facing reality 

We can easily ignore or deny reality by focusing on what we want rather than what it really is. This can lead to frustration and helplessness as we find ourselves stuck in situations that don’t make us happy. 

Not trusting our instincts

When we don’t take time to get to know ourselves, we may not trust our instincts when making decisions. As a result, we can end up choosing paths that aren’t right for us and feeling confused or frustrated when things don’t go our way. 

Staying in unhealthy relationships 

We can be dishonest with ourselves when we stay in relationships that don’t make us happy. Unfortunately, whether it’s a romantic partner, a friend, or a family member, sometimes it’s easier to stay in a situation than to take the risk of leaving and starting fresh. 

Denying our feelings 

Trying to push away negative emotions such as sadness, anger, or fear is easy. But ignoring these feelings will only lead to them resurfacing in unhealthy ways. 

Believing our negative self-talk

Negative self-talk can be incredibly destructive and limit our growth potential. 

It can be challenging to spot the line between reasonable and overly critical thoughts about ourselves. But rather than pushing them away, we should face them head-on and challenge them. 

Because sometimes we get caught in the cycle of life, I want to share with you a few situations where you should stop and make sure you are being honest with yourself so that you can find your happiness.

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5 Times You Should Be Really Honest With Yourself

  • When you are unhappy with the state of things
  • When you aren’t sure what you want
  • When you are scared
  • When you are feeling resentful
  • When you aren’t yourself

Let’s dive into these.  Shall we?

When you’re not happy with your current situation

We all experience times when we feel like we need more of something to feel satisfied or content. It’s not unusual to feel this way, but the important thing is to honestly assess why you feel this way and take steps to address it. That’s why being honest with yourself is so important.

The first step is to recognize the source of your unhappiness and determine whether it’s something you can control or beyond your control. If it’s something you can control, like a job that’s no longer fulfilling or a lack of exercise, then you can focus on taking action and changing your situation for the better. 

However, if the source of your unhappiness is something you can’t control, such as the death of a loved one or an illness, then being honest with yourself about your feelings and allowing yourself to grieve without judgment is essential.

Whatever the source of your unhappiness, it’s important to practice self-care and give yourself the time and space to process your feelings. 

Allowing yourself to be honest about your feelings can provide clarity and help you move forward in a healthier, more productive direction. However, being honest with yourself also means allowing yourself to be vulnerable and open up to seeking support from friends, family, or professionals when needed. 

Being honest with yourself is the key to true happiness and fulfillment. It might not always be easy, but it will ultimately lead you down a path of personal growth and development.

When you don’t know what you want

We all have different goals, dreams, and ambitions regarding life and personal growth. But what do you do if you find yourself in a position of not knowing what it is that you truly want? 

Not knowing what you want can be one of the most challenging places to be because knowing what you’re aiming for can make it easier to move forward.

Being honest with yourself is one of the best things you can do in this situation. 

It’s essential to take a step back and reflect on what kind of person you are, what motivates you, and what makes you happy. 

Do some soul-searching and try to figure out what it is that will give you a sense of purpose. Ask yourself why you’re in your current situation, and be honest about your answer.

Getting clarity on what you want from life may take some time, but being honest with yourself is the best way to figure it out. It’s important to explore your thoughts and feelings and maybe even have open conversations with the people around you. Talking to trusted friends and family or even a counselor or therapist can help you understand what will make you truly happy. 

Don’t be afraid to take your time and be patient with yourself. Once you’re honest with yourself and know what you want, you’ll be able to take the steps you need to find your very own version of happiness.

When you are scared to take a risk

It can be scary to take risks, especially when uncertain about the outcome. Still, it’s important to remember that some of the most significant accomplishments come from taking chances and pushing past your limitations. Conversely, by not taking risks, you could limit yourself from opportunities that could lead to happiness and success.

When you’re afraid to take risks, examine why you feel this way. Are you scared of failing? Are you worried about disappointing someone? Or are you uncertain of what might happen if you take the risk? If so, it might be helpful to reflect on your past experiences and draw on your strengths and successes to give you the confidence to make a decision.

When considering a risk, consider the pros and cons and ask yourself if the potential outcome is worth the effort. Then, take the time to think through the situation before making a decision. While you may not always make the right choice, taking risks can open up new possibilities and help you find satisfaction in life. 

By being honest with yourself and bravely facing fear, you can experience true happiness and fulfillment. So don’t let fear stand in the way of taking risks that could lead to living your best life!

When you’re holding onto resentment

Resentment can come in many forms and can be one of our most destructive emotions. It can linger for years, even after a situation has been resolved. Unfortunately, getting caught up in resentment and keeping yourself stuck in a cycle of negativity is easy. 

When this happens, you must be honest with yourself and take responsibility for your feelings. Ask yourself why you’re resentful and if there’s anything you need to do to forgive and let go of the anger. Remember that forgiveness doesn’t have to happen with the other party to release yourself.

Taking a step back and being honest about your feelings can help you move past them so that you can be truly free and happy.

When you’re not being true to yourself

It’s easy to get into a habit of doing what you think other people want or expect of you instead of being true to your own values. 

If you’re constantly making decisions that are not in line with your own goals and beliefs, it can lead to a feeling of disconnect with yourself and an overall lack of life satisfaction.

To be happy and fulfilled, you must be honest about what you really want. You need to take the time to think about who you are and what is important to you. By aligning your values and goals with your decisions and actions, you can make better decisions and take better steps.

Honesty with yourself also means not being afraid to change your mind and make adjustments as needed. Just because you may have made certain decisions in the past doesn’t mean they are set in stone. If something doesn’t feel right or isn’t working out, be honest with yourself and recognize when it’s time to move on.

Sometimes it takes courage to be honest with yourself, but it’s a necessary step if you want to achieve true happiness and fulfillment. It can be scary to look inside and face up to the truth of who you are, but ultimately it will help guide you toward authenticity. 

Being Led To Where You Really Want To Be

Being honest with yourself is essential to find true happiness and fulfillment. The next time you feel tempted to be dishonest with yourself, stop and take the time to look within and understand your feelings. That way, you can make choices that are right for you and move closer to achieving true fulfillment. 

Don’t let anyone else dictate how you should live; listen to your heart, and don’t be afraid of being honest about what it wants. When faced with a difficult decision or situation, ask yourself: “Is this going to lead me to where I truly want to be?”.


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I’m TaKenya

I HELP WOMEN succeed in life and business

Fueled by equal parts oat milk lattes and passion alike, I spend my days coaching, building things, researching, and figuring out ways to help women change the world while finding, understanding, and loving themselves and their unique individuality.   

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